You swore the last relationship was different. You promised yourself you'd learned your lesson. Yet here you are again, feeling like you're reading from the same script with a different cast.
If you keep attracting the same type of person or falling into the same relationship patterns, you're not cursed, unlucky, or "choosing wrong." You're responding to unconscious programming that was installed long before you ever started dating.
Understanding why you repeat these cycles is the first step to breaking them. Let's decode your relationship patterns and learn how to rewrite the script.
Why We Repeat Relationship Patterns
Your relationship patterns were formed in your earliest experiences of love and attachment. Your nervous system learned what to expect from relationships based on:
- How your parents related to each other
- How your caregivers treated you
- What behavior got you love and attention
- What happened when you expressed needs or emotions
- Whether love felt safe or conditional
These early experiences created your "attachment style"—your unconscious blueprint for how relationships work.
Key insight: You don't choose your patterns consciously. They're automatic responses your nervous system learned to keep you safe (or get love) in your original environment.