Trust Your Intuition
Your gut can be wise—and it can also be wired by past pain. Intuition is fast pattern‑recognition; anxiety is threat‑detection stuck in overdrive. Here’s how to tell which voice you’re hearing.
Intuition vs. Anxiety
- Intuition: calm, brief, clear directive.
- Anxiety: loud, repetitive, catastrophic.
Text Examples (What Your Body Notices First)
Red flag (dismissive): “Why are you making a big deal out of nothing?”
Green flag (validating): “I hear you — let’s figure out what feels fair to both of us.”
Red flag (evasive): “Relax, you’re overthinking.”
Green flag (clear): “I can’t talk now, but I’ll call tomorrow.”
4‑Part Gut Check
- Body: breathe; scan for tight chest/solar plexus.
- Data: what did they do (not just say)?
- Dialogue: one direct question; look for consistency.
- Decision: make a small boundary, not a blow‑up.
Train Your Intuition (Not Your Fear)
- Reduce inputs before deciding (sleep, food, movement).
- Journal patterns: late replies after intimacy? affectionate only at night?
- Reality‑test with a secure friend or coach.
References & Further Reading
- APA — Intuition & decision‑making primers (apa.org)
- Gottman Institute — Trust and commitment research (gottman.com)
- Journal of Behavioral Decision Making — Intuition studies
FAQ: Trusting Your Intuition
What if my gut is always anxious?
Regulate first (sleep, food, movement), then decide. Intuition is calm and brief; anxiety is loud and repetitive.
Is one “bad” text enough to end it?
One text is data, not destiny. Patterns decide. Track 2–3 similar moments before making a call.
How do I ask a clarifying question without sounding needy?
Try: “I value consistency. Can we pick a weekly time that works for both of us?”
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